


Your Barista Today Is...

by lisemily



Category: Multi-Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Book Recommendations, Covid-19 Related, Drinking, Food, Ghosts, Humor, Movie recommendations, Multi, TV show recommendations, Witches, all the recommendations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisemily/pseuds/lisemily
Summary: Welcome to Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time?Aka posts from my Barista series on my blog, Short and Sweet Review.  Recommendations galore, attempts at humor (some successful, some not so much).I'll probably keep this series going until the pandemic winds down so, you know.  Doomsday probaly.
Kudos: 2





	1. Unsolicited Job Seeking Advice

Welcome to the new feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is an unemployed librarian, and for your drink today we recommend: unsolicited job-seeking advice—the theme for this week's menu.

With social distancing causing many to lose their jobs, it is a challenging time to be looking for employment. Advice, both solicited and unsolicited, is abundant from sources ranging from the internet to our own well-meaning family and friends. If you are looking for some more unsolicited advice—or some inspiration to keep up the search—may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Tournament of Losers_ by Megan Derr  
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Recommended viewing: | Live (라이브)  
Meal suggestion: | That recipe you've been meaning to try  
Drink suggestion: | ALL THE COFFEE  
  
  



	2. Extraterrestrial Life

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is possibly not human, and for your drink today we recommend: extraterrestrial life—the theme for this week's menu.

School is out of session, thousands are out of work—let's face it: the coronavirus has left many, many people with a lot of time on their hands but not much to do. Sure it's tempting to watch mindless TV or read romance novels—not that I would judge anyone for either, I've indulged in my fair share of both. But if you're looking to improve your mind, what better time is there than now to stare gently into the abyss and consider the possibility and mechanics of extraterrestrial life? Would they be friends? Would they be foes? If you would like to explore such ideas, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _The Terror of Air-Level Six_ by Harl Vincent  
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Recommended viewing: | Abyss (어비스)  
Meal suggestion: | Instant mashed potatoes (the powder kind)  
Drink suggestion: | Water  
  
  



	3. Metafiction

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is a puzzle wrapped in an enigma stuffed in a cannoli, and for your drink today we recommend: metafiction—the theme for this week's menu.

When I was a freshman in college, I took a seminar in metafiction that left me with what can only be called a morbid fascination with metafiction. It's fascinating, yet pretentious. The opportunity for paradoxes is endless. It is vaguely reminiscent of living in an M. C. Escher drawing. If you are in the mood to cudgel your brains over the meaning of narrative reality, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Fangirl_ by Rainbow Rowell  
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Recommended viewing: | Inception  
Meal suggestion: | Extra-strength painkillers  
Drink suggestion: | Chamomile Tea  
  
  



	4. Pointy Pop Culture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not thrilled with the title for this one, but couldn't come up with anything I like better, besides maybe "Dead Man's Blood" but that's a Supernatural reference that would need explaining. So I just went with "Pointy Pop Culture" and moved on 'cause sometimes that's just what you gotta do.

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is a sparkly vampire and for your drink today we recommend: some pointy pop culture—the theme for this week's menu.

One of my professors in library school once imparted the wise advice that if you really want to understand your students, you have to read what they read, citing Twilight as an example. It's good advice—so this week's post goes out to all the teachers, as well as the ordinary folk, trying to understand the allure of the pop culture phenomenon known as vampires. They run the gamut from the (relatively) tame to the disturbingly fierce, and you can find them all here. If you are ready to go gently into that good night, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Twilight_ by Stephanie Meyer  
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Recommended viewing: | Van Helsing  
Meal suggestion: | Red Velvet Cake  
Drink suggestion: | Red Wine  
  
  



	5. Screw the Patriarchy

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is a badass woman and for your drink today we recommend: screw the patriarchy—the theme for this week's menu.

I'm not even going to get into my usual pontificating, because all you really need to know about this week's selections is that they're about badass women doing whatever the hell they want. If you're ready to screw the patriarchy—and I really hope you are—may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Madame Bovary_ by Gustave Flaubert  
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Recommended viewing: | Lost Girl  
Meal suggestion: | Whatever the hell you want  
Drink suggestion: | The tears of men trying desperately to Mansplain™  
  
  



	6. The Living Haunting the Dead

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is the dead haunting the living and for your drink today we recommend: the living haunting the dead—the theme for this week's menu.

Some people believe in ghosts. Some don't. Some have the misfortune to have a ghost haunting their attic (or basement, or upstairs bathroom, or some other inconvenient part of their house) and don't have a choice in the matter. If you belong to the first or last group, it is important to know how to identify ghosts, and when you have identified and located it, what to do. I like to call this approach: the living haunting the dead. If you're ready to be the living haunting the dead, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Carnacki the Ghost-Finder_ by William Hope Hodgson  
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Recommended viewing: | Ghostbusters  
Meal suggestion: | Sea Salt Potato Chips  
Drink suggestion: | Margarita with salted rim


	7. The Stuff of Legends

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is a regular hero and for your drink today we recommend: the stuff of legends—the theme for this week's menu.

If you've spent any amount of time in the vicinity of comparative mythology or narratology or any of the other -ologies having to do with stories, you've probably run into the monomyth model, also known as the hero's journey.

Essentially, the model consists of a cycle wherein the hero experiences a call to adventure, undergoes challenges and temptations, achieves revelation, death, and rebirth, undergoes transformation and atonement, and finally makes their return. If you look closely, many great stories—and even everyday stories—follow this formula.

If you're ready to go on your own hero's journey, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _The Reminiscence of Good King Carnack_ by Jack Harvey  
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Recommended viewing: | Supernatural (Seasons 1-5)  
Meal suggestion: | A beast you hunted yourself  
Drink suggestion: | Asgardian mead


	8. Don't Burn the Witch

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is a 300 year old witch and for your drink today we recommend: don't burn the witch—the theme for this week's menu.

If you've spent any time in the American education system, you've probably had to read _The Crucible_ , in which alleged witches are condemned to be hanged. This was sadly not an uncommon response to allegations of witchcraft, with other punishments and "tests" including burning at the stake and "trial by water" aka drowning (apparently if the supposed witch sank she was innocent but if she floated she was a witch; either way, she died).

If you're ready to dive into the dark yet fascinating world of witches and what happens to them, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _The Crucible_ by Arthur Miller  
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Recommended viewing: | Always a Witch  
Meal suggestion: | Vegetable burger  
Drink suggestion: | Herbal tea


	9. An Academic Interest in the Devil

Welcome to the special feature, Your Barista Today Is: an entertaining AND educational feature designed to bring you information you can use and enjoyment that you need during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic. With everything turned on its head, why not work and play at the same time? Your barista today is not a bible nut and for your drink today we recommend: an academic interest in the devil—the theme for this week's menu.

You don't have to be a bible nut to find it massively interesting how the religious themes of Christianity manifest themselves in popular culture. The devil, in particular, is a particularly intriguing character—one that writers and artists have been exploring since works like _Paradise Lost_ by John Milton and _Le génie du mal_ by Guillaume Geefs. While organized religion may decry depictions of Satan that might be interpreted as flattering, favorable, or even glamorous, these depictions have a lot to tell us about our culture and ourselves.

If you're ready to explore the character of the Adversary, may I suggest the following menu:

Recommended reading: |  _Summon the Keeper_ by Tanya Huff  
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Recommended viewing: | Lucifer  
Meal suggestion: | Devil's Food Cake  
Drink suggestion: | Satan's Whiskers cocktail


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